Awareness – the first step to change

At SafePlace, we believe that increased awareness can help all of us protect our family and friends. We hope the following will offer information to help identify and better understand domestic violence.

What is domestic violence?

• Domestic violence is a pattern of assaultive, coercive, dominating, and punishing behaviors. Abusers use a variety of tactics, not just violence, to control the victim's behavior – for example, humiliating her in front of co-workers or convincing her that she is incapable of making good decisions.
• Tactics can include physical, sexual and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion.
• Domestic violence is a learned behavior and can be un-learned. It is not caused by anger, psychological problems, drugs and alcohol, or other common excuses.

Who are the victims?

• There are no "typical" victims or perpetrators of domestic violence – domestic violence can affect people of every economic, ethnic, and racial background, gender, age and sexual orientation.
• Physical and sexual violence by an intimate partner are common problems, affecting 20-50% of women at some stage in life in most populations surveyed globally. Between 3% and 50% of women have experienced it in the past year.
• Domestic violence has a profound impact on the physical and mental health of those who experience it. As well as injuries, it is associated with an increased risk of a range of physical and mental health problems and is an important cause of mortality from injuries and suicide.

What are the basic signs?

• Abusers use dominating, intimidating, terrifying, rule-making, stalking, harassing and injurious behaviors to control and manipulate the actions of their partners and sometimes their children.
• The most obvious signs of domestic violence will be evidence of severe, recurring, or life-threatening abuse, for example, repeated bruises, broken bones, physical attacks, or threats with weapons.
• Domestic violence is not just severe physical violence. It includes slaps, pushes, shoves, threats, emotional and financial abuse, false imprisonment, and any other behavior that abusers use to control and coerce victims. If one partner or spouse frequently makes the other ask permission to do things, domestic violence may be occurring.
• Emotional abuse, where one partner continuously degrades or belittles the other, or accuses the other of being stupid, unattractive, a bad parent, unfaithful, or any other similar fault, can indicate domestic violence.
• Many abusers use the legal system to punish their partners for taking steps to free themselves from domestic violence. Extremely litigious behavior following a separation may be a sign of domestic violence.
• Abusers use issues arising in custody and visitation cases to try to re-establish control over their victims. For example, an abuser may fail to show up for scheduled visitation on time in order to harass the victim or create a reason for further contact.
• Abusers frequently display extreme jealousy. The following controlling actions may signal that domestic violence is occurring:
  • Abusers often discourage their victims from seeking help.
  • Abusers harass, stalk, and keep tabs on their victims.
  • Abusers try to isolate their victims from emotional support systems or sources of help.
  • Abusers also isolate their victims by sabotaging their ability to get and keep jobs.

By disseminating information and reaching out to our community regarding domestic violence and sexual assault, our agency strives to create long term social change, and save lives in the process.